The Impoverished Gentlewoman

A '60s woman lost in the woods.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Yours sincerely, wasting away

When I get older, losing my hair
Many years from now,
Will you still be sending me a valentine
Birthday greetings, bottle of wine.

If I'd been out till quarter of three
would you lock the door,
Will you still need me, will you still feed me,
When I'm sixty four.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Richard and Novice

Tallahassee, 1969
I was never a student at Florida State but came to our state capital at the insistance of my friend Shar (really Sharon) who was a grad student in English. We had been roommates in Gainesville and that previous summer she had gone with me to Provincetown and Wildwood,NJ (which was alot of fun). She went ahead and got an "apartment" for me. The apartment turned out to be a very small room in a commune type house . Commune meaning a large common kitchen and common bathrooms...and I was the only female (or is that common female). She probably thought I would like this but I didn't and thats one of the reasons we didn't stay friends. But it was interesting and I did meet a few people who had a lasting impression on my life. One of them was Richard...oh, and Novice.
One Friday night I was walking down the hall upstairs and passed by one of the larger rooms which was occupied by a guy who was usually gone on weekends. There was someone there, sitting on the floor and listening to an album I liked. "Excuse me?", I felt I should say something, he might be a serial album napper. He was very cute but very straight looking by our standards. Neat pants and shirt, wavy but short hair. His name was Richard..he was in graduate school in...I forget. We talked and listened to music and laughed and made fun of people and before we knew it,it was morning. I loathe the term "soulmate", it seems only natural for fourteen year olds. But Richard was the closest I ever came to. He was my alter ego, sure as shootin! I'm so happy!!!And now hes looking at me, a smile on his cute face and he says," I want you to meet my wife..we have an open marriage". What? Huh? Are you nuts? Do I look French to you? I took out my gun and shot him dead like a, that was my fantasy. I demurely told him sorry but thats not my thing. Damnit.
I don't remember if I was set up or not but a few nights later I was a bar with a friend and who strolls over but Richard -"Hi! This is a surprise! This is Novice, my wife" Novice? I looked next to him expecting to see a leering nun but instead see a very attractive young woman. Novice fairly reeked sex appeal but she was one of those women who attracted everyone..I liked her. She introduced me to her "guy" who was a biker with a muscular build-Dan or Don? "We're going to a should come!". Compared to my friends, I was socially conservative. A grope (they had them in Provincetown) was when you went to a party with one person and ended up having sex with-whoever. Just one guy for me, thank you very much. "Vicki wouldn't be interested in that" said Richard,smiling (Oh, you think you know me Bucko?). So Novice and friend left and Richard and I ended up together talking about..everything.
This went on for weeks not months. Yes, Richard and I were girlfriend-boyfriend(this is a G rated blog) and that was very special but it all got to me. One night the three of us were having dinner at their house and it all didn't make sense any longer. While Novice was out of the living room for a minute, I told Richard it was over. They drove me home. A few hours later, I was sitting on the upstairs porch and noticed Novice's car stopping on the street and Richard getting out. Richard talked me into continuing and it might have lasted a long time except for Tom.
Tom Heaps was a Jimmy Dean type. He even had dimples. Girls loved him. But I saw him as an old soul and liked him immediately. I met him when I first came to the house. My attraction was that I was a "virgin" ,meaning I hadn't yet experienced LSD. I was coming home with a guy after seeing a movie (I even remember it was "The Learning Tree" by Gordon Parks). Tom came roaring up on his Harley and that was that. At first our relationship was romantic but eventually became better friends. When I wanted to get away from drama(yes, it was usually Richard), I would go to Tom's (he rented a house way out of town).
One day, Tom said he wanted me to meet someone. We went to a house and he introduced me to a very pregnant girl. She told me she was Novice's cousin and when she came to Tallahassee from Missouri, she stayed with them. Nothing could have shocked me more when she told me how Richard had abused Novice. Richard? Its frightening how little you really know about someone. I loved Tom for doing that for me.
When I told Richard I simply had to end it because I was not happy (I didn't mention what I had learned), he looked at me with hurt eyes and said,"I was going to leave Novice for you". What a lie and I told him so. That was a close call but it still made me feel very sad. I never did meet anyone like Richard again. Which was good...and bad.


Saturday, May 02, 2009

When I fall in love.....

I've researched this a bit...asking friends re their experiences..what are the symtoms of being in love? One Sure-fire one is-singing together !! Not necessarily like in a Hollywood movie but I've had a few of those moments.
With one love...hes now affectionately known as "The Thing"(my apologies to James Arness) was inspired by the Beatles(YES!!!!). After seeing "Beatlemania" at the old Music hall in Boston, we danced merrilly through the Boston Common, singing "Yesterday" at the top of our lungs. Such a memorable event does not guarantee lasting happiness however, thus his absence in my life and his nickname "the thing". But its an ass kicker of a memory all the same.
More meaningfully are any memories of Rhett. In this venue, almost any song over the car radio or eight track player (eight track!) would bring on our holding hands and singing along, whether it was Simon and Farfunkel or the Turtles. Its an expression of joy or lust or whatever but its always there, ready to bring on a smile when remembered. So if your're in love and your desired one does not sing along with you, it means he or she are not in love or are a vampire or..oh, I forget which..